The Christmas Tradition Jimmy Takes No Part in Following

Me Knows Better Than to Say This… but I will. Every Christmas Jimmy remembers one family tradition that he will not partake. My in-laws have fond memories of the old country… Norway in particular and they are compelled to save every bow and scrap of wrapping paper to be used again the following year… and forward into perpetuity. I am not sure of the origin of this tradition, but they have been carrying on this Depression era tactic since will before the Depression. By now they have it down to a science and to aid in the recovery process, they hand out the favorite tool of choice… a steak knife… to help every person slice open the well taped edges.



During first year of my indoctrination into this family tradition, I accepted the tool… err weapon, and used it with a mild amount of success. I was definitely not to the level of proficiency that this family had attained, but I was well on my way to meeting the minimum wrapping paper yield expectations… until that fateful moment.


For some inexplicable reason, Jimmy failed to remember where he placed the steak knife when he got confused during the complex gift opening process. That may sound odd, but there are several well established rules that are followed to maintain civility as each person is expected to embrace the time honored procedures of gift opening order. At that exact moment of confusion, a person handed me a gift from under the tree and in a polite manner, I decided to stand up and reach for the gift… meeting them part way.


As I plopped back down onto the couch (the exact middle - between two cushions since I had not yet attained a level of seniority to be seated in an actual chair), I then remembered where the knife had been placed. It was positioned right in the slot of the two cushions… the point of a perfect knife holder… straight up that is… serrated edge situated for the most damage. I looked down to see a silver blade positioned less than an inch away from… well let’s just say children might not have been in Jimmy’s future.

Now in a new Christmas tradition, every year we relive that moment and I politely shake my head when asked if I would like to take a knife this year.


During that fateful Christmas year, Jimmy made an early decision that he would gladly chop down an Amazon rain forest to produce brand new wrapping paper rather than slice open a useful body part. Just say no to knives.