Saturday, May 28, 2011

Jimmy the French Fugitive

Me Knows Better That to Say This... But I will.  Jimmy is hoping the statute of limitations is over, or the French authorities do not have the means to locate him (... or someone that may look like him that is).  About a year and a half ago, I rented a Skoda SUV, but a buddy wanted the opportunity to drive on the French Autobahn system.  Unfortunately the French don't have an Autobahn... that is in Germany.  


The "Interstate" (for lack of a better term since it definitely wasn't an unlimited Autobahn system) was fairly crowded on the northbound lane leaving Paris and the pack driving kept everyone pretty much in check.  The Skoda couldn't handle much but at the crest of a hill, my buddy saw no one in the left lane and he decided to see what the little machine could do with the gravity assist.  


I wasn't paying much attention in the back of the SUV, but I could tell that there was a definite change in velocity and as we reached the bottom of the hill, an unexpected flash of lightening lit up the interior of the SUV.  Immediately my buddy shouted a profanity and said, "They got me!"  Automatic camera speeding sensors took a quick picture of my buddy and he looked down to check the speed.  He did a quick conversion in his head back to mph and thought it should be OK.  


When we arrived at our destination, he asked about the speed trap near by and what the fine might be.  They did a quick check and discovered that if he was around 30-40 km/h over the speed limit, the fine would be 135 Euros - about $200 bucks.  Everyone laughed at his misfortune until he said, "Well... I'm not sure if the speed limit right there was 110 km/h (68 mph) or 130 km/h (80 mph)... but, I'm pretty sure I was doing 180 km/h (112 mph) when they took my picture."  


The room went silent and our French hosts stopped laughing.  "Monsieur... no one goes that fast in France.  This is not Germany.  We take speeding very seriously here.  The fine for anything 50 km/h over the speed limit is 1500 Euros ($2100).  


My buddy was taking it pretty hard thinking about the $2000 bill he would get when he arrived home and promised himself that he needed to watch his speed for the remainder of the trip.  On the way back to Paris, I sat in the back waiting for him to inch above the speed limit.  Just when he got the Skoda back above 130 km/h, I popped the flash from my digital camera and the whole interior lit up -  just like the speed trap.  


Immediately my buddy shouted the same expletive teamed with, "I can't believe it!"  Everyone in the SUV started laughing... and they laughed even harder when I showed them the camera... everyone except my buddy.  "Jimmy... some things just aren't that funny."  However the guy sitting in the front passenger seat next to him said, "Oh no... but that one was."




Post script:
I never received a bill or ticket from the car rental agency which was how our hosts said the ticket would arrive... It would be sent to me since I rented the vehicle (and not my buddy).  He was good for it, however, since the rental was in my name, I stood the biggest risk of re-entry back into France the next time I tried to clear customs.  To be safe, I worked out an arrangement with my local colleagues to check on me once I got through customs... If I didn't make it, I wanted someone who could speak French to come bail me out of jail.  To date... so far so good.  I just hope the statute of limitations runs out pretty soon.