Jimmy is Lost in Translation

Me Knows Better Than to Say This… but I will.  An interesting aspect of my job is the chance to sample the local culture of most of the locations I visit.  Poland was especially nice; however, the vodka wasn’t too nice back to me.  It’s not what you think… I just had a hard time drinking shots of alcohol when all I could feel was a burning sensation going down my throat.  It helps when the vodka is chilled or nearly frozen, but not all of it comes that way.  However, when in Poland you gotta do what the locals do...  It wasn’t until I discovered Wódka Żołądkowa Gorzka that I could at least enjoy a shot or two of the stuff.  The group I was with couldn’t decide what flavor it was, but consensus determined that it had a hint of cinnamon flavor.

Cinnamon is not my favorite, but this didn’t deter me from wanting to bring a bottle back to the US since it was that good.  So before I had too many, I tapped out the name of the vodka on my iPhone and relaxed knowing I didn’t have to remember the name or try to pronounce it. 

The night before leaving, I headed down to a liquor store in the town square to make my purchase.  Not surprisingly, not a soul in the quaint little shop spoke English, but I had planned for this situation.  I handed my iPhone over to the proprietor and pointed to the screen with the name of the spirit I wanted to purchase.  She nodded her head and motioned me to one particular area.  It had every kind of Wódka Żołądkowa Gorzka on the shelf and she expected me to know which one I wanted. 

I asked in English, “Cinnamon?” because that was the best guess at the time.  Apparently “cinnamon” is not a universal word between our two languages and she looked at me and shook her head.  I looked at the other patrons for a little advice and asked even though I knew better, “English?”  Everyone shook their head. Again, I asked "Cinnamon," and heard no takers.

Finally the owner motioned again at the three choices like I had to make a decision now since she was busy.  I pointed at the one on the bottom because it “looked” cinnamon.  She shook her head like that wasn’t a good choice to make.  Silently she waved her hand again directing at the three distinct options.  Again I pointed to the “cinnamon” looking bottle.  She shook her head and grabbed the bottle in a way that made me think I was making a mistake by not taking her advice… but my odds weren’t that good either way and I thought it best to stick with my original guess.

Later the next day, after I had checked my luggage with my proud possession of some type of local vodka, I noticed a duty free shop with my vodka along with the other flavors.  I knew I could not make another purchase since my carry on would be held at the next stop, but I asked if the owner of the store spoke English.  She nodded her head and I asked, “Can you explain the differences between these three vodkas?”

She rattled them off, “This is orange.  This is honey… and this is meat.”

Obviously the first lady knew what she was talking about.