Me Knows Better Than to Say This… but I will. Well, Jimmy flew into Germany and drove into France. The countryside was beautiful and while going through the forests close to the border the drive reminded me of all those fairy tales we heard as kids … like Little Red Riding Hood, Hansel and Gretel (which now, looking back on them were pretty disturbing… what kind of parents try to scare the crap out of kids?)… but I digress as usual. (Luckily this isn’t Twitter, or I would be out of words by now)… but back to the damn story.
Blah… Blah… Blah… oh yeah… the country was beautiful, people friendly and the food… not that great when compared to Italy. But the people were great to talk to. Luckily those two solid years of high school French came in really handy. I could converse if I only said, “Merci beau co.” Which I was forced to say for everything… including the food which only reinforced the idea that the food was good in their minds… which it wasn’t.
Then out of nowhere, the French language was flowing from Jimmy’s tongue. He was in another time and place… perhaps it was an out of body experience as he started pontificating, “Si j'ai été élu, il ne serait aucun gouvernement plus. Il n'y serait un poulet dans chaque pot, deux voitures dans chaque garage (pressé des cours en un seul emplacement) et un téléviseur grand écran plat sur chaque mur. De cours que tout le monde serait propriétaire que je possède la partie de la société de l'iPhone.” … All with the perfect accent of course.
And everyone was amazed.
Of course no one was amazed more than Jimmy… when he stumbled across the translator program on the Internet while writing this blog.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
The Alps
this one out. I could not come up with anything cynical to say.
Don't think I am going soft here, but I had to send off a preview of
the Alps. Beautiful. Even taken with my phone... And through a
window, I hope you can enjoy.
Looking out at the switchback roads, I can safely say that Jimmy's
wife would stay in town and shop... and collect the insurance money a
little later. Just beautiful... I must take a trip to Switzerland
some day. I would probably fall off the mountain taking photos. The
photo does not do justice to the view at all.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Life is Good in Italy
Me Knows Better Than to Say This… but I will. Life is good in Italy if you don’t need a phone, TV or the Internet. Jimmy dropped off his bags in his hotel room and had to return to the front desk to ask about the phone… or lack thereof. “Can I call out from my room?”
The hotel clerk responded, “Si, si… you can use-a the phone-a in the room-a.”
“But sir, there is no phone in my room… just bare wires sticking out of the wall.”
“No phone-a in the room-a?”
“Yes, just wires.”
“Oh, si, si… sorry then… no phone-a.”
“How about the TV?”
“Si, si… TV in room-a.”
“Yes, I know. TV in room sitting on table, but no way to turn it on.”
“Use-a the remote control-a.”
“But the problem is there is no remote control and no controls on the TV itself. It just stays black.”
“Si, si… sorry. Perhaps when you get back-a to da room-a… you a call-a house keeping about-a the remote control-a?”
“Uh… like I said… no phone. Oh, don’t worry, I’ll just go back to my room and work on the internet.”
“Oh seniora… internet only available across-a da street-a… at restaurant-a.”
“Grazie. I’ll just go over there in my pajamas.”
“Si, si…”
Jimmy decided to have a chocolatta cappuccino to stay up since, besides no alarm clock in the room, how could I get a wake up call? Life is good without electronic stimuli. This is a laid back country. No need for all that messy stuff like worka.
The hotel clerk responded, “Si, si… you can use-a the phone-a in the room-a.”
“But sir, there is no phone in my room… just bare wires sticking out of the wall.”
“No phone-a in the room-a?”
“Yes, just wires.”
“Oh, si, si… sorry then… no phone-a.”
“How about the TV?”
“Si, si… TV in room-a.”
“Yes, I know. TV in room sitting on table, but no way to turn it on.”
“Use-a the remote control-a.”
“But the problem is there is no remote control and no controls on the TV itself. It just stays black.”
“Si, si… sorry. Perhaps when you get back-a to da room-a… you a call-a house keeping about-a the remote control-a?”
“Uh… like I said… no phone. Oh, don’t worry, I’ll just go back to my room and work on the internet.”
“Oh seniora… internet only available across-a da street-a… at restaurant-a.”
“Grazie. I’ll just go over there in my pajamas.”
“Si, si…”
Jimmy decided to have a chocolatta cappuccino to stay up since, besides no alarm clock in the room, how could I get a wake up call? Life is good without electronic stimuli. This is a laid back country. No need for all that messy stuff like worka.
Welcome to Italy
Me Knows Better Than to Say This… but I will. Life definitely is different in Italy. Just after landing in Venice, the plane taxied to the terminal and everyone jumped up trying to get off the plane. After a few moments of no movement, the captain’s voice boomed over the intercom, “We’re going to have to wait another 15 minutes or so. The ground crew arrived, but they forgot to bring the stairs. They sent someone back to get it.”
Welcome to Italy. Life is Good. You-a don’ta worry, we drinka Expresso then we come-a backa and getta you. Ciao.
Italy is so laid back. Jimmy wonders how close to a coma Italians would be if they stopped drinking Expresso.
Welcome to Italy. Life is Good. You-a don’ta worry, we drinka Expresso then we come-a backa and getta you. Ciao.
Italy is so laid back. Jimmy wonders how close to a coma Italians would be if they stopped drinking Expresso.
Oh Crap… Curry Revisited
Me Knows Better Than to Say This… but I will. Not sure if Northwest Airlines knows what they are doing to me or if the dietitian knows the misery they are placing on their customers. Two for two on flights now … is there something about curry spice they have to serve… and I’m not even going to India. But the announcement about the food choices brought the words, “Oh crap… not this again” to my lips. Then Jimmy thought better about his choice of words. We don’t need a repeat of that blog do we?
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Wisconsin Marketing 101
Me Knows Better Than to Say This... but I will. The Department of Transportation in Wisconsin is an example of preeminent marketing. Now I know that many of you doubt my comment... mainly because I am cynical by nature. But this time... really... I am only stating the facts.
Jimmy bases this on one random occurrence will driving around the St. Croix River Valley taking photos of fall leaves. I like to take seldom traveled roads and try to figure out a way to see overly photographed sites from a new angle... but this takes me down some "pretty" difficult roads. I mean really rough roads.
In Iowa they are honest about the quality of the road. The DOT in IA displays plenty of signs to remind everyone that these are, "Low Maintenance Roads." With this warning, I expect rough roads and probably no shoulders and a little complaining that Iowa should do something about this travesty of a road crew.
In Minnesota, the roads are usually pretty good - all due to the exorbitant taxes and the thanks of Representative Oberstar, the ranking Democrat on the Transportation Committee. He is really good at siphoning funds from other states to do his pet projects and no one blinks an eye... wink... wink. Luckily all that money is free... so no need for any posted signs... and I still complain if the roads aren't perfect... after all shouldn't these be paved in gold with the taxes we pay.
But in Wisconsin... these guys are geniuses. They just label them as "Rustic Roads." Too bad George Carlin isn't alive as I can hear him enunciate the words slowly... "Rustic Road." Jimmy had visions of wagon wheel tracks and Conestoga’s passing through the prairie. Even when the road turned to crumbled asphalt and plenty of potholes, another sign reminded me, a present day settler, that this was a "Rustic Road." I had no reason to complain... I had shelter... the wheels were turning, I was moving and no Indians were attacking... for I was on a Rustic Road... this was an adventure.
But let's do the math and expectations:
Jimmy bases this on one random occurrence will driving around the St. Croix River Valley taking photos of fall leaves. I like to take seldom traveled roads and try to figure out a way to see overly photographed sites from a new angle... but this takes me down some "pretty" difficult roads. I mean really rough roads.
In Iowa they are honest about the quality of the road. The DOT in IA displays plenty of signs to remind everyone that these are, "Low Maintenance Roads." With this warning, I expect rough roads and probably no shoulders and a little complaining that Iowa should do something about this travesty of a road crew.
In Minnesota, the roads are usually pretty good - all due to the exorbitant taxes and the thanks of Representative Oberstar, the ranking Democrat on the Transportation Committee. He is really good at siphoning funds from other states to do his pet projects and no one blinks an eye... wink... wink. Luckily all that money is free... so no need for any posted signs... and I still complain if the roads aren't perfect... after all shouldn't these be paved in gold with the taxes we pay.
But in Wisconsin... these guys are geniuses. They just label them as "Rustic Roads." Too bad George Carlin isn't alive as I can hear him enunciate the words slowly... "Rustic Road." Jimmy had visions of wagon wheel tracks and Conestoga’s passing through the prairie. Even when the road turned to crumbled asphalt and plenty of potholes, another sign reminded me, a present day settler, that this was a "Rustic Road." I had no reason to complain... I had shelter... the wheels were turning, I was moving and no Indians were attacking... for I was on a Rustic Road... this was an adventure.Iowa - $4,000 for signs and much complaining about shitty work.
Minnesota - $4,000,000,000,000 in taxpayer funded roads (probably could add a few more zeros.. but Jimmy tried to be conservative in the estimate) - and still some shitty areas.
Wisconsin - $400 for a couple of well positioned signs - still a shitty road, but fun to drive on something called a "Rustic Road."
Wisconsin DOT - Marketing geniuses...
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Guess There Is More Than One Way To Do It
Me Know Better Than To Say This... But I Will. Putting out... Well I guess vertical is one way to do it if you want. Jimmy leads a sheltered life.
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