Jimmy’s Wife Comments on Last Blog

Me Knows Better Than to Say This… but I will.  (Editor’s note pertaining to the last blog):

Hello – this is Jimmy’s wife (technically it’s Jimmy.  She’s just standing over me while I type this so that the following is accurately represented in the post). 

It has come to my attention through a good friend, that I was mentioned in the last blog.  I normally don’t read that drivel (even though I am still 50% of his active readership), but I decided I had to investigate.  The quotes attributed to me were not accurate.  What we have here is a case of a man’s selective hearing and general lack of thinking… you ladies will totally understand my problem.  I don’t even need to explain it to you.

All I said was, “That sweatshirt…” and I shook my head.  It was no where near the given impression of general biatchiness.  (Jimmy’s post editorial comment:  Is that really a word?  “Biatchiness”)

I can only assume that my good senses caused him to re-evaluate his wardrobe selection.  He must have rationalized all those statements in his head… only after realizing that I was indeed right.  How he described that ratty old thing was the only thing that was accurate about the blog: old, torn, didn’t match, not good enough for Good Will.  I guess what he wrote is only what he interpreted from those two very inert words and his descriptions where his own.  The only way I could describe his attire… in a kind way… it was a bit, shall we say, ragged. 

So… don’t believe everything you read here and would someone mind giving me some clue as to where he hid that thing?

***

OK – now that she’s gone… 

Jimmy – GQ is Waiting

Me Knows Better Than to Say This… but I will.  This morning, I got up early to play a little golf.  Since it was a bit chilly, I elected to throw on some jeans with a golf shirt and I topped it off with a comfortable sweatshirt which coincidently has the name of the club embroidered on it.  (What Jimmy is failing to mention is that his favorite sweatshirt has been just that - his favorite for the last 15 years and is a bit - by some generous standards - frayed around the collar).  Also, he failed to mention that the color combination did not match the golf shirt.

The moment I put it on, my wife looked at me and commented, “Uh… that doesn’t go together and that sweatshirt needed to be thrown out ten years ago… and jeans?  You can’t wear those up there.” 

“Hey, it’s my favorite sweatshirt and I play better when I am comfortable.”

She responded, “At least do something with the sweatshirt and get something that matches this time… and take that frayed thing immediately to the garbage can.  It’s so bad, you can’t even give it to Goodwill.”

As I walked back to the closet to change I heard her mumble, “Men… you can dress ’em up…  No… in your case, I can’t even do that.”

Looks like GQ will be waiting for Jimmy a little longer than usual.

Jimmy's Apology to Target Corporation

Me Knows Better Than to Say This… but I will.   Really, I should know better, but this is too good to pass up.  Jimmy “knows” an older couple and they were in Target the other day doing some shopping.  Out of no where, the elderly man sneezes so violently that his dentures fly out of his mouth and slide across the tile floor doing a slow rotational glide to a stop on the other side of the aisle.

The elderly lady sees this and she begins to laugh so hard that she pees her pants. 

If you see my mother-in-law, you didn’t hear this from Jimmy.

P.S. Target Corporation - My apologies to your staff.  I will will pay the sanitizing bill... it was worth it.