Club Championship

Me knows better than to say this... but I will. Golf is an easy sport when you don't have your hands gripping your throat while trying to putt. Yesterday all I saw were 4 and 5 footers for par and it was tough to keep breakfast down standing over these all day.

But fortunately they double cut and rolled the greens so they ran true. All that was needed was to get the ball rolling and hope the cup got in the way. Very fast - very difficult pin positions. The greens keeper must have wanted to humble us and remind us we were not that good. Luckily I was getting the ball rolling straight and most fell in. Not sure how that happened, but take them when you can. I'd better just take the 38 / 40 and run home.

On Sunday:
It could have been worse. One guy I played with took a 9 on a par 5. This even after he got there in 3. Yes... for those of you scoring at home that is 6 putts... Or in the common vernacular - a 6 jack. I've 4 jacked a few greens, but never 6 times. (He should've used the old Sevie Ballestros line after the announcer asked him what happened to him when he 5 putted a hole. Sevie's reply was, "Well, I miss, I miss, I miss, I miss, I make). After watching that 6 putt, it made me lose my cookies on the next hole as everyone in the group was a little more cautious. So I easily 2 putted from 2 feet.

On the bright side everyone had the same nerves as scores were not as low as expected and I shot 38 on the front and brought the clunker home with a smooth 43 on the back. I was burning oil, threw a piston and was running on two flats... the other two wheels just happened to fall off after watching the 6 jack and then the vehicle caught fire smouldering all the way home. I was surprised I could even bring the club back to swing it.

On the par five 18th hole, I drove it into the fairway bunker. Then I smoothed a safe six iron into the next fairway bunker, leaving 103 yards to a back pin directly over a deep pot bunker... oh by the way... also into the wind to help me out. I proceeded to hit the perfect pitching wedge pin high and with all the luck I had (and the sand and wind combination), spun it back 30 feet. Those are really fun to watch on TV and to impress your friends... but that wasn't the time on the last hole of the club championship. But two putts later (with a knee knocking 4 footer for par above the hole), I could finally breathe and find a little moisture in my mouth... just glad to have it over with and somehow never having seen any part of the 515 yard fairway.

But all in all, it turned out pretty good. Second place (behind by 1) in the first flight... not all that bad. It should have been much worse based on the way I played. Next year, I'll try to loosen the grip around my throat.

Pool Party

Me Knows Better Than to Say This... But I will. Too cool this year for the annual friends pool photo. For those of you that believe in global warming... where the hell is it? Or if I used the same trending data over the last 3 years extrapolating like the "experts," I'd say we better brace ourselves for some glaciers coming across North America by 2100. This pool is starting to look like a bad investment unless I can turn it into a hockey rink.

Well - we did use it, but not like the last couple of years when the summer heat was perfect. Al Bore - a little help here please. I need to recoup this investment.

Remember... I warned you guys.

About the Title...

I thought long and hard about this blogspot... well really short and quick and a bit impetuous. I wasn't sure what to call it. I liked what JD (my nephew) did with "The World According To JD" as it sounded pretty worldly and since he has traveled quite a bit and is living overseas, I thought he had a great title. Then I realized it was http://www.theworldaccodingtojd.blogspot.com/ where he left the "R" out of the middle and then I wondered if he did this intentionally as a means to spoof everyone or to see if anyone was paying close attention. He seems to keep people off balance with his thoughts. Then he deflated my expectations when he said he had been having a bit of trouble with his computer keyboard as the "r" was a bit sticky. I guess I was reading too much into his mind. Uh oh... didn't really want to venture there.

Well, I liked the idea as it was pretty catchy and also wanted mine to be on par with his, but more tuned to my personality. "The World According to Jimmy" was perfect, but then as I thought about it, that would be like copying and not very clever... almost like repeating the same joke after the person before me really nailed it. I need to be more original with my concepts.

I also thought about the "The World According to a Big Hick" but thought my family and friends might substitute the letter "H" and that kind of defeats the purpose of a cutting edge thought... not that there will be any brilliant prose logged into this blog. On occasion I might stumble across a sane thought or two... at least something I might consider as acceptable, but not everyone will agree... especially those... well, you know who you are... and if you don't all the better for me.

Then I ran across a concept, that perhaps each post could start off with "I Know Better," especially if I might enlighten some people, but then that sounded a bit presumptuous... even if I was correct in my writing it might turn off the "uninformed" with knowledge of less than trivial matters... although I might bring up a few concepts about ancient Egyptians or why beer actually makes people smarter... I was all set to go with it, until I discovered that someone else beat me to the name and came up with the same brilliant idea. How can I always be so late? I was late to the "Beer on a Stick" concept... the one that would have made me a zillionaire at the State Fair. I was also late with the "Snuggy" idea, you know the one advertised on late night TV that is a blanket looking like a kimono, but available in just plain royal blue and ugly red. The colors I would have selected would have been mauve, serengeti or taupe... something I have no idea what they were. (Note: now the "owners" of Snuggies have Leopard and Zebra print for the more discriminating tastes. Even I would not have ventured into the wildlife field. Suggestion to the brainiacs there - make the next series in camo and target another market). But I digress. Well at least I thought the url was brilliant.

Yet the more I thought about it the more I realized "I Know Better" was a little too cutting edge as I may on an occasion, make one or two incorrect comments. I know that isn't probably the way to start... be positive... know for certain you are correct, but sadly I do make one or two mistakes a year. Just ask my wife.

But I really liked the concept. And since I will more than likely make a few offhanded, incorrect, and down right offensive comments to a few people... the new title fits. "Me Knows Better Than to Say This... but I will."

If anyone does read this, you were warned.